We all know how hard it can be to lose yourself in the crazy season of life that is early motherhood. Overnight, quite literally, I went from an independent adult(ish) lady who could mostly do what I wanted when I wanted, to a mom…completely responsible for another human. I feel like for nearly 5 years, and one more rambunctious boy later, I have been fighting tooth and nail to balance me as a person and me as a mom. Then it dawned on me: I am looking at this all wrong. Instead of trying to hang on to my “old life” I need to embrace the thought of my “new life.”
- Do something for me every day: Even if it something as small as taking 2 minutes in the morning (or during naps) to breath in a room alone…do it. As a mom, I find myself feeling the mom guilt if I am not always doing something that is just for my children or household. I have to remind myself to take some time for me. A lot of times for me, this means waking up early before my boys get up and get in and early morning workout class or mediation session. The drive alone is therapeutic and makes for a much more patient and joyful mama.
- Get dressed: It is so easy for me to fall into staying in my oh so attractive mom-look, or leggings and a tank all day, and somedays this is totally what I need. But on the regular, I try and put my big girl pants on and take on the day. It really just makes me feel better and makes me feel more “me.” It also makes me more amped to get the boys out of the house and make memories.
- Sit down and enjoy my meals: now that my boys are getting a little older, have been trying to sit down and actually enjoy my meals. I am trying to get away from the hustle and bustle of life and take a second to breath. This isn’t always a thing, but it is amazing how much better I feel when I am able to just sit down and enjoy a HOT cup of coffee and avocado toast in the morning.
- Embrace my community: For me this means multiple groups. My work friends, that I have quite literally gone through life and death situations with (#nurselife) that have become family. My Barre babes that breath with me through all the twist and turns life throws. The preschool moms that are quite literally going through the same thing I am. The best friends that have been there for years, through thick and thin, sickness and health, ride or die until death do we part. It doesn’t matter where the community stems from or what brought the commonalities, it feels so powerful and rewarding to be a part of something bigger than just me. It reminds me that I am not alone, we are doing this life together.
- Unplug from time to time: I am for sure guilty of being that mom that is on my phone too much. Recently I am trying to take time every day to unplug, get on the floor and enjoy my kiddos. People always tell you to enjoy this time and that they are only small once and for me it is really easy to get caught up in life and all of a sudden, my baby isn’t a baby anymore. I don’t want to miss these moments and I don’t want them to remember mommy being on her phone. Let’s unplug, look up and take in the beauty that is around us.
I think the most important thing for me and my sanity to remember is I am not going to be perfect every day. There are going to be times that I stay in my jams all day and drink cold coffee at the counter. That. Is. ok. The goal is balance, not perfection—a hard concept for me. So hear me out Mamas: be a little selfish from time to time, even if just for a moment and give yourself permission to be you.