I’m going to just come right out and say it: I’m jealous of your mom tribe.
You know, that group of ridiculously fearless, strong, beautiful mamas you have play dates, group messages, and adorable family get togethers with… that tribe.
Over the past couple of months, I’ve stumbled upon a number of ridiculously hilarious and all too truthful blogs about the struggle to make mom friends. When these writers compare it to dating – it’s humorous, but it’s also painfully accurate. The struggle can be real, and while I can definitely find the humor in the entirely awkward endeavor, there’s also a really huge part of me (probably the anxious, introverted part) that finds all of it so overwhelming.
When you’ve entered motherhood with only a handful of close friends, none of whom have children of their own, and you also happen to be inherently quiet, it can be really tough to “find your tribe”. Putting yourself out there, even with acquaintances, in an effort to build those tight-knit mommy groups you see around social media can be ridiculously daunting.
And I’m not even entirely void of mommy interaction!
I belong to an amazing Facebook mom group and it has been my saving grace on more than one occasion. Writing for this blog has also opened me up to more incredible moms. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for my social media mom space. I mean, I’m definitely more myself from the comfort of a keyboard; but nothing compares to the interaction and support of real life, you know?
We all need that. We need those play dates that allow us to get out of the house, kids in tow, and enjoy the company of others. It’s good for our kids and it’s good for us. We need those mamas who can commiserate when you have a distraught kiddo, make you laugh when all you want to do is cry and recognize sleep deprivation when it’s written all over your face (and clothes and body). Those fun get togethers and combined family events gives our kids a chance to socialize, it gives us a chance to socialize, and we deserve to have some fun. We need other mom friends because they inherently just get you.
I long for that. In fact, if I’m really laying it all on the table, it has even (often) brought me to tears. I’m jealous of those friends that all had babies around the same time and get to share pregnancy and every year after together. And yeah, I know, there are apps to meet mom friends and you can strike up a conversation with a random stranger (just like dating, am I right?), but it’s just not that easy for us mamas who happen to be so inside our own heads that we can’t even think straight. For us awkward mamas, it can be really hard. Online is easy – real life? Ugh.
So… how can we build the bridge from social media mom friends to the kind of mom tribe we’ve always yearned for? I’m all ears. Bonus points if you’ve got tips for us quiet, anxious moms.