Spending the mornings with my daughter is the highlight of my day. I adore spending time with my 15-month-old and watching her grow in this magical time in her life.
She’s only going to be this little once; I want to relish it.
But when I drop her off at daycare by 10:15 a.m. to get to work by 11 a.m., I’m ready for that adult interaction and for a higher level of intellectual stimulation. However, I’m always thinking about her: who she’s playing with, if she’s having lunch, taking a nap, etc.
So when my teaching contract was given back to me in March and my director needed a full-time electives teacher, my heart dropped.
Was I ready to let my now toddler-aged daughter go and become a full-time working mom again? She’s no longer the six-month-old baby in full-on mommy mode. Now, she’s ready for more social interaction with kids her age. And that’s good for her… right?
But, I can’t help but think: Is it selfish for me not to fight for her? To find another part-time position and to help raise her? Or is it better to show her what it is to be a working mom, making more money to give her more opportunities?
The truth is that I don’t know what’s going to happen once I become a full-time working mom again. Like I’ve learned since becoming a mother, every day is a new day, a new emotion.
But it’s hard. Finding a balance between work, family, and emotions is a delicate dance.
All I know is that working for my family — whether spending time with them at home or being a role model at work — is where my heart will always be.